I’m a woman in a new polyamorous relationship with a man who has a five-year-old daughter

He and his ex-partner split up a year ago and until two weeks ago, his ex wasn’t allowing him to see his child. However, once she learned of my existence, she suddenly changed her mind. I believe she’s letting him see his child now because she thinks this will drive a wedge between us. In reality, we’re both over the moon that he’s reconnecting with his d going to ask for advice. My new boyfriend has recently begun exploring polyamory, and his ex doesn’t know I’m how do i delete my thaifriendly account not the only woman he’s seeing. He’s not yet publicly out with the new woman, as it’s a recent thing, whereas we’ve been together more than six months. However, all three of us are getting along very well, and people in our social dance scene have started noticing. This dance scene is where his ex learned about me. Or do you think his ex will get angry and jealous that he’s enjoying life to the fullest and cut off contract with his daughter again?

Do you think that it’s safe for us to be open about his other relationship?

For seventeen years, I’ve represented clients in child custody cases throughout New York State where being polyamorous – or kinky or a sex worker or frequenting sex workers or other issues of personal sexuality – is being used against a client, said Diana Adams, Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center. And whether it’s safe to be openly polyamorous when you share custody with an ex who could potentially take you to court and bring it up in a child custody case sadly depends on your zip code.

This is going to seem crazy, RAVE, because it is crazy: Before making the obvious move here – before your boyfriend lawyers up to secure his parental rights and responsibilities (he is making child support payments, right?) – you’re gonna need to look the local results of the last four national elections.

The best indicator of success is how conservative the area is, which is an indicator of how open-minded or conservative the judge, social workers, and other appointed professionals will be in evaluating by the subjective standard of the best interests of the child,’ said Adams. We don’t yet have much protection from discrimination based on polyamory or other relationship statuses – which is precisely why I’m engaged in advocacy for relationship and family structure non-discrimination laws.

The kind of non-discrimination statutes advocated by Adams – which have already been made law in two east coast cities and are currently moving through city councils in two west coast cities – would bar conservative judges and social workers from discriminating against people practicing polyamory. But if you aren’t lucky enough to live in one of the two cities where these laws are already in force (both in Massachusetts), the passage of these laws and the debate about them could benefit your boyfriend and his daughter in the long run.

These nondiscrimination laws don’t just make it unlawful to discriminate in those jurisdictions, said Adams, they influence public thought and make discrimination elsewhere less acceptable as well.

And seeing as she has a history of weaponizing access to their child (which is not in the child’s best interests), I don’t think his ex can be trusted to react benevolently, whatever her feelings about polyamorous relationships might be

As for the short run – as for whether it’s safe for your boyfriend to be open about his polyamorous lifestyle (awful term, I realize, but sometimes it can’t be avoided) – the answer doesn’t just depend on your zip code, RAVE, but on the reaction his ex is likely to have. Which is why your boyfriend should – if he safely can – lawyer up and take his ex to court.